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I have already warned my staff that this would not be acceptable for 6 weeks leave. It keeps me sane and I look forward to them every week. Just a number plate I saw when leaving Uni yesterday. Saw this Subaru Forester parked in a disabled bay at Floreat Forum shopping centre last weekend.

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Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. She got on the scale and it read 117 so she won a prize. When the ride was over, John again asked Kim what she would like to do. The couple walked around the carnival and again he asked where to next. By this time, John figured she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake.

Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton wadding, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, "How'd it go? " So the dentist says, "Okay, we'll have to go with the gas." The cowboy replies, "Absolutely not. I'm not having gas." So the dentist steps out and comes back with a glass of water, "Here," he says. " The doc replies, "Viagra." The cowboy looks surprised and asks, "Will that kill the pain?

Lets just get our fingers out of our arses thinking that we humans are the centre of the universe. The IT industry must be back in the boom times if this entry is any indicator.

Thought you might like this traditional South African sick note, only submitted today as you will see, so it is fresh. I wonder if it's his Mum's car that he borrowed hoping she wouldn't notice?

" POLICE #1 While taking a routine vandalism report at a primary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. "Well, then," she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please tie my shoelace? Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. " ELDERLY While working for an organisation that delivers lunches to the elderly, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds.

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