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Of course, there’s no real comfort in making him suffer, even though it’s more tempting than a Cinnabon.
There are, however, several specific things you can do that will give you real relief from that continuous ache, and also help you put your family back together.
What if it was a manifestation of your commitment to have a happy life, regardless of what your husband is doing?
If he asks why you’re so happy, you can acknowledge that his recent announcement or behavior reminded you that life is short and you decided to pay more attention to your happiness.
Here are the specific actions I recommend to recover the good you had together in the beginning: I don’t want to diminish that what he did–moved out, cheated, found someone else–was an incredibly hurtful betrayal. You’ve known it too, but didn’t know what to do about it. He was vulnerable because there was so little oxygen in your marriage. If you’re having a visceral reaction to this idea right now, keep in mind that I’m in your corner, and this is not the end of the story.