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Who said you have to go straight to a relationship? A couple of weeks ago I wrote about why dating is a discovery phase for fact finding. I don’t want to get into a relationship too quickly?
Over the past few weeks in particular, I’ve had quite a few readers tell me that they’re dating multiple people, something I find exhausting just thinking about it, but at the same time rather fascinating because I find that people give me all sorts of reasons for they do it: I’m just experimenting with dating. Remember how you didn’t like it when Mr Unavailable had a narcissistic harem of women he was dipping in and out of for an ego stroke? It’s where you discover the facts that will help you determine whether you should green light, date some more and potentially move into a relationship, or whether you should red light and abort the mission.
Couldn’t you ‘experiment’ with one person for a few dates, see how it goes, and then move on? Do the people who you are dating know that you’re potentially wasting their time? As people no matter what they tell you, don’t always date for the same reasons, dating someone and getting to know them will let you determine through their actions and interactions (not just words and your imagination) whether you are two people on the same page with similar primary values.
Dating means that you do have to take a bit of a risk.
If you go in with your eyes and ears open, feet on the ground, with an awareness of your boundaries and red flags, you will opt out if, while you are in your discovery phase on your factfinding mission, you receive information to your spidey senses that says that the relationship is not for you. Baggage Reclaim is a guide to learning to live and love with self-esteem by breaking the patterns that stand in your way.
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